Hair Stories

Welcome to my first blog post! At first I wasn't sure what to write about. Then I realized, why not share my own hair journey. As a hair stylist I've heard every story you can possibly imagine. Stories of why women stopped relaxing their hair, or why they keep relaxing, why they only wear it straight and more. I truly understand your hair struggles because I've been through them. From bad relaxers, to transitioning, heat damage, thinning, breakage, dry hair, bad hair cuts, chopping it off because of break ups (we've all been there), traction alopecia, name it and I've probably experienced it. Here's the shorter version of my hair journey. Enjoy!

Let's go way back, to when I was a little girl, sitting in the living room getting my hair relaxed by the best stylist in the neighborhood. Although my hair was "laid" the burns and scabs (from scratching the day before which I shouldn't have done) were nothing to be happy about. I started getting relaxers at the age of 9. By the age of 13 I knew something wasn't right about this creamy crack. I was ready to forgo the texture altering chemical and let my curls grow out. I began to transition.

Back in the days, there wasn't much information on how to grow out a relaxer or what to do with curly hair. And it's not like the women in my family wore it curly. I was on my own with this one. I ended up wearing it pulled back for one year till the relaxer grew out.

Fast forward to me being a young adult. I was relaxer free for a few years by now and learning to love my curly hair. Even though it wasn't the norm to wear it curly, I still rocked it proudly or so I thought.

I was always being told by family and friends to tame my pajon (spanish word for curly fro). I'd always laugh it off. I knew they meant it in a loving joking way. It didn't bother me.

The first time I realized my hair was truly being judged, was when I went on a trip to Dominican Republic. I was 21 years old. A young man (who I thought was going to be polite) came up to me and said, "you're pretty but are you going to comb your hair or did you not have enough time to go to the salon?". He was so serious when he asked me this. His comment lingered in my mind for some time. It made me question whether I looked untamed and not beautiful by wearing it hair curly. I began to become self-conscious about my hair.

A few years went by, I still wore it curly until I was ready to work in an upscale salon. I began blowing out my hair weekly, thinking this would make me look more professional and presentable. I really thought this straight hair look would help me get a job.

I landed a gig as an assistant on the Upper West Side. In my mind I thought I needed a certain "look" to fit in into this salon environment. I did this for years, wearing it straight. I knew each time I was straightening it I was heat damaging my curls.

One day I grew tired of the stereotypical hair that was considered to be beautiful and professional. I decided I would start wearing it curly again. I was super nervous with what my coworkers would think. I was ready for the comments and told myself not to let it affect me.

After one year of working at this salon, here I am walking into the place with my big curly hair (yes it definitely had heat damage). I was so worried about what others would say, but to my surprise, everyone loved it. After that day I realized, I never needed the straight hair look to get the job. It was all in my head.

That day was the catalyst for me to truly embrace my texture despite what others may have to say whether good or bad. I've stopped wearing it straight since then. I wear my big curly hair with confidence now!

We should never let people, society or the media condition us to think there is only one standard of beauty or professional hair. There is beauty in all textures from straight to kinky and everything in between. Our perceptions of "good hair" need to broaden in our individual lives and in the work place.

I hear too many stories of women wanting to wear their hair curly but are on the fence about it because they feel it doesn't look professional. How you wear your hair should be your choice and nobody else's. Through all my hair struggles and the hair struggles I've heard other women go through, I've learned the most important thing, is to wear your hair in a way that makes you happy and helps you feel confident.

I hope to use this blog as a platform where I can share tips from two perspectives, one as a professional hair stylists/texture-ologist, and secondly as a woman who can relate to your hair struggles because I've been through them too.

I'd love to hear your story! What made you decide to stop relaxing or wearing it straight? How did you deal with the transition? Were you worried about what others would think?

Please share your hair journey. Hopefully it can inspire someone to go relaxer free!

Yessenia Reyes Texture-ologist

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